Tuesday, July 31, 2012
But somewhat productive for me doing things that aren't exactly what I ought to be doing at work but need to be done anyway...things like replying to emails for school responsibilities, planning trips, sending letters to insurance, and so on. I realize social contact is so necessary and yet so frustrating at times. Validation is such an important part of whatever endeavor one is part of, and at work you don't get it as much since you're paid to do things and expected to do them well. Hence the reward is in social validation and camaraderie...which I suppose sometimes takes a while to build. I realize I'm not the best socializer in the world, I gel well with a few people but am quite awkward with people whom I have no interests in common. Oh wells, little steps...and always worth remembering that it doesn't matter what someone else thinks of you, its what you do (and how you respond to these slights) that matters.
Monday, July 30, 2012
It just dawned on me, once again bright and clear like a single lightbulb hanging from a ceiling in an empty room just like the movies, how short life is and how little of it we will each remember. And how fleeting our thoughts are, coded only as neuron flashes through a heavy flesh-brain water-body. So (to keep this post short, as I have a tendency to ramble) I would like to try an experiment...to write a post, as long or short as it wants to be, every day. I'm not sure how long this can last, but any words I can commit to a more reliable guardian, safe from unreliable memory, I shall. A good runner looks only forward, not back at the steps she runs. But my life is not a race, it's more of a ramble, and maybe I can leave some markers on the path for the next one who comes this way.