Sunday, June 20, 2010

Let me be flexible

The title comes from a Chinese proverb: the reed bends and sways in the wind, but remains standing; while the strong tree that neither bends nor sways crashes in the storm.

I realize that I often think of myself as grown-up, mature, able to make intelligent decisions. And I let little things go, bit by bit, excusing my behavior too easily, slacking off - and then I realize that I'm not all that grown-up. I have a-ways to go. I am not done. I am still making mistakes. I am still making excuses. I need forgiveness, and I need to forgive others too.

Why do we try to maintain balance in a world of flux? It's like looking for patterns within a lava lamp. The components are always the same, but the appearance is ever-moving, ever-changing. Except, perhaps, humans are even more complicated, because we change each other - we are interacting with our environment, adapting, discarding older models of thinking, moderating and analyzing all the time.

It's time to be flexible. It's time to trust. It's time to be...vulnerable. Because I need to, to retain and reclaim my sanity. To sway, to bend, and not to break.