A little reflection on my life here

Everybody, without exception, wants to be the exception.



Think about that for a moment...



And everybody, of course, includes me and you.



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When I came to a new place to study, unconsciously I wanted to be exceptional at everything. I wanted to have my studies well under control, great fun rollicking deep meaningful relationships with many friends (and cultural diversity!), opportunities for learning and developing character...in short, to live the perfect life.



I can tell you: life doesn't just happen that way. If I couldn't do sports in the first place, I won't magically become a Michael Jordan just because you move to a more sporty environment. If I loathed Additional Math in Form 5, why should I torture myself with its equavalent in college? If I've always been more of a one-to-one or small group conversation style person, should I expect to become the life of the party all of a sudden?

And then you realise that you are weaker, more vulnerable than you had imagined; the concrete walls of your ego crumble like dry grass under the assault of your new mannequin-perfect (yet adorably human!) peers.

But by coming here, I definitely did learn some new things. On respecting people. On tolerating differences. On managing my time (or trying to). On managing stress. On making the most out of every moment.



On loving myself for who I am because there is One who loves me more than I can ever imagine. (It's still a work in progress, though, and the pressure to conform and act a certain way in order to gain approval is always there. But then again, there is that pressure everywhere...)



On learning how to live (and yes, even thrive!) without constant attention, care and approval from man.



On being content with what I have, where I am, my body and mind and spirit and personality. I think this is the hardest part.



No matter how successful you are, there is going to be someone who's better than you. Who's got their act tight and well-done while you're still trying to tie those damn knots together in any fashion that will keep it together. And a minute later, it falls apart...

So, what have I learned about (not) being the exception? That at some point you must let go of it and just enjoy yourself and instead of envying others their gifts, just admire and learn what you can from them. It helps to change from an adversarial "me against the mean world" mindset and instead think of how best we can relate to each other. Reminds me of the sermon at the church I went to last week said (I'm still choosing a church in Hong Kong):

‘If your father and mother, your sister and brother, if the very cat and dog in the house, are not happier for you being a Christian, it is a question whether you really are a Christian.’
–Hudson Taylor 19th c. missionary to China