The discipline of writing still eludes me. After over a decade of intermittent diary-writing, and some years of blog-updating, my words and ideas do not stack up neatly like well-designed, uniformed plastic chairs at the hawker store.
They say writing is good for oneself. Writing is an exercise in truth. It does not reflect truth but creates it. There is so much power in words wielded well, words that are not clumsily shoved into a sentence. Words that exceed their limitations so that it is not the words you hear, but the feelings and ideas expressed through them that are transmitted and embedded in your soul.
Really good writers have that effect, of being able to transport the reader into their consciousness, to see out of their own eyes and think not as one mind to another, but as one and the same mind.
Maybe it's not really about skill. Maybe it's also about heart. The burning desire to communicate something transforms itself into eloquence, the blue sparks glint off the page and creates flashes of light in the dark recesses of a reader's mind.
And I don't have it.
Showing posts with label I blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I blog. Show all posts
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Sticky Labels
Dear readers, sorry for the long hiatus! Well it's only been a week plus, but I know in blogger terms that's pretty long already...especially for any blogger who wants to keep their audience who of course have many alternative forms of amusement. So thanks for coming back.
Today's the night of my 3rd day at school and so much has happened already since I came back: not surprising, since the amount of things which happen in one day for me here is equavalent to what I do in a week back home.
Being back here now, it doesn't feel like home, but it's not exactly a strange foreign place either. It's like a hotel room: nice; interesting experience, more stuff to do and explore - but when the times up, no place can beat home. I miss being able to dance and shimmy in front of the mirror when I brush my teeth (when I want to, not all the time). Though I still do it secretly sometimes, when I'm sure no one's in the bathrooms...
TO THE TOPIC! YES, THE TOPIC!!
The other day, I was walking back from the library at night alone (it's freaking cold at night here) and since I had nothing else to occupy me I started thinking. I thought, "Why is it that we always label people? The nerd, the partyfreak, the social outcast, the free love poster boy/girl...?" And often, when you get to know people, they are so much more than what you had heard they were like or judged that they must be like based on their clothing and mannerisms. It works both ways...you can be awed by people and also disappointed in what you see in them. Either way, people are way too complicated to be labelled simply.
And yet, it's only natural that we label others! Sometimes it's for our convenience - the computer whiz is great at fixing your internet bugs, you go to him and beg for help, and that's all you know about him. But who knew that he is also a closet poet, or that he likes growing tulips? We could also be trying to bolster our own self-esteem when we compare ourselves to others by putting them in a tight box of what they can and cannot do, justifying that our talents make up for our inferiority in areas that they excel in. We forget that they have just as much potential for growth and discovery of new talents as we do.
Maybe the frustration comes when you wonder what kind of label people have stuck on you. It might be a succinct one: Quiet. Weird. Bossy. Argumentative. Or something like that. But even a pretty good one like Nice limits you. You can't be Nice all the time. You should have the space to be a little assertive, even a little bit unfair sometimes, and not be condemned for it. And what if a negative label gets stuck on you for some reason? You have to spend a lot of time and energy fighting that perception that people have of you.
There is one way, however, that I think labels may be good. They inspire us to be more socially acceptable in order to earn a good label. For all I know, that may be how the whole fabric of society is woven together and how governments control their citizens. Each of us, doing what we do in order to gain acceptance and approval and that big tick mark from everyone else.
Today's the night of my 3rd day at school and so much has happened already since I came back: not surprising, since the amount of things which happen in one day for me here is equavalent to what I do in a week back home.
Being back here now, it doesn't feel like home, but it's not exactly a strange foreign place either. It's like a hotel room: nice; interesting experience, more stuff to do and explore - but when the times up, no place can beat home. I miss being able to dance and shimmy in front of the mirror when I brush my teeth (when I want to, not all the time). Though I still do it secretly sometimes, when I'm sure no one's in the bathrooms...
TO THE TOPIC! YES, THE TOPIC!!
The other day, I was walking back from the library at night alone (it's freaking cold at night here) and since I had nothing else to occupy me I started thinking. I thought, "Why is it that we always label people? The nerd, the partyfreak, the social outcast, the free love poster boy/girl...?" And often, when you get to know people, they are so much more than what you had heard they were like or judged that they must be like based on their clothing and mannerisms. It works both ways...you can be awed by people and also disappointed in what you see in them. Either way, people are way too complicated to be labelled simply.
And yet, it's only natural that we label others! Sometimes it's for our convenience - the computer whiz is great at fixing your internet bugs, you go to him and beg for help, and that's all you know about him. But who knew that he is also a closet poet, or that he likes growing tulips? We could also be trying to bolster our own self-esteem when we compare ourselves to others by putting them in a tight box of what they can and cannot do, justifying that our talents make up for our inferiority in areas that they excel in. We forget that they have just as much potential for growth and discovery of new talents as we do.
Maybe the frustration comes when you wonder what kind of label people have stuck on you. It might be a succinct one: Quiet. Weird. Bossy. Argumentative. Or something like that. But even a pretty good one like Nice limits you. You can't be Nice all the time. You should have the space to be a little assertive, even a little bit unfair sometimes, and not be condemned for it. And what if a negative label gets stuck on you for some reason? You have to spend a lot of time and energy fighting that perception that people have of you.
There is one way, however, that I think labels may be good. They inspire us to be more socially acceptable in order to earn a good label. For all I know, that may be how the whole fabric of society is woven together and how governments control their citizens. Each of us, doing what we do in order to gain acceptance and approval and that big tick mark from everyone else.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Merdeka Message-A Day Late!
Written 31st August 2007
After reading so many “Young Malaysian” columns in The Star of varying quality, here’s my own say in the matter on the Golden Jubilee of dear Peninsula Malaya (it’s not really Malaysia’s birthday, right?)
“My family…well, we’re an unusual family. I don’t expect you to understand. We’re very different in many ways and we even come from different cultures and backgrounds. We like different types of food and even have different beliefs and traditions. With all this, how can we still live as a family, you ask?”
“It’s a long story that has not really told itself into a neat ending yet. We haven’t been together long enough to really settle into roles that we are comfortable with. At present we’re having an uneasy, fragile truce that They-the Big Men- tell us we can’t talk or ask questions about. They’re afraid that some members might revolt against the status quo and upset the delicate harmony –the yin yang- of our family.”
“Personally, I’m not sure how that works. How strong can our family bonds be if we’re not even willing to iron out problematic issues in a reasonable way? If we aren’t open with our wants and needs, our dreams and hopes for the future; how can we be sure we’re all moving in the same direction together?”
“We’re a nice and loving family from the outside; we like to dress up on special occasions so that other families can admire our diversity and showy monuments and great-tasting food. We hope they won’t look at our perfect picture too closely and see the cracks in our smiles, the ennui in our eyes at hearing the endless empty promises, insensitive comments and grandiose pronouncements of our family’s elected spokespeople.”
“Change things, you say? Well, it isn’t that easy. Sad to say, not everyone’s working for the good of the family. The young and eager who want to often find obstacles in their way, put by those very people who have pledged to uphold the interests of this family. Inefficiency, complacency and corruption in our family is rampant – so much so that some members have disowned us and sought happiness in other families.”
“As a family, we’ve come this far – 50 years we’ve governed ourselves independently and sought a name and place for ourselves amongst greater, stronger powers. So far, I think we’ve done well in material terms. We could do much better, though. We’ve not had much obvious open antagonism erupting into violence for the last 38 years – but is that all we should aspire for? Amidst all our birthday celebrations, this is one of many serious questions we should ponder and decide on together.”
“What does Malaysia – my homeland- mean to me, you ask? Just as I have been saying all along! It’s my family; the bonds that tie are hard to break. And if you believe, as I do, that we are born where we are, who we are for a reason – then, you will know that each one of us is meant to make a difference in our own little corner of the world.”
“Happy birthday to you, Malaysia! All I can give you now is a prayer that this family will keep growing in the right direction and carefully, painstakingly correct the deep-rooted mistakes that we have made along the way. My other prayer is that, if God wills, I may be a part of those who have the same vision to change that far-off dream into concrete reality.”
After reading so many “Young Malaysian” columns in The Star of varying quality, here’s my own say in the matter on the Golden Jubilee of dear Peninsula Malaya (it’s not really Malaysia’s birthday, right?)
“My family…well, we’re an unusual family. I don’t expect you to understand. We’re very different in many ways and we even come from different cultures and backgrounds. We like different types of food and even have different beliefs and traditions. With all this, how can we still live as a family, you ask?”
“It’s a long story that has not really told itself into a neat ending yet. We haven’t been together long enough to really settle into roles that we are comfortable with. At present we’re having an uneasy, fragile truce that They-the Big Men- tell us we can’t talk or ask questions about. They’re afraid that some members might revolt against the status quo and upset the delicate harmony –the yin yang- of our family.”
“Personally, I’m not sure how that works. How strong can our family bonds be if we’re not even willing to iron out problematic issues in a reasonable way? If we aren’t open with our wants and needs, our dreams and hopes for the future; how can we be sure we’re all moving in the same direction together?”
“We’re a nice and loving family from the outside; we like to dress up on special occasions so that other families can admire our diversity and showy monuments and great-tasting food. We hope they won’t look at our perfect picture too closely and see the cracks in our smiles, the ennui in our eyes at hearing the endless empty promises, insensitive comments and grandiose pronouncements of our family’s elected spokespeople.”
“Change things, you say? Well, it isn’t that easy. Sad to say, not everyone’s working for the good of the family. The young and eager who want to often find obstacles in their way, put by those very people who have pledged to uphold the interests of this family. Inefficiency, complacency and corruption in our family is rampant – so much so that some members have disowned us and sought happiness in other families.”
“As a family, we’ve come this far – 50 years we’ve governed ourselves independently and sought a name and place for ourselves amongst greater, stronger powers. So far, I think we’ve done well in material terms. We could do much better, though. We’ve not had much obvious open antagonism erupting into violence for the last 38 years – but is that all we should aspire for? Amidst all our birthday celebrations, this is one of many serious questions we should ponder and decide on together.”
“What does Malaysia – my homeland- mean to me, you ask? Just as I have been saying all along! It’s my family; the bonds that tie are hard to break. And if you believe, as I do, that we are born where we are, who we are for a reason – then, you will know that each one of us is meant to make a difference in our own little corner of the world.”
“Happy birthday to you, Malaysia! All I can give you now is a prayer that this family will keep growing in the right direction and carefully, painstakingly correct the deep-rooted mistakes that we have made along the way. My other prayer is that, if God wills, I may be a part of those who have the same vision to change that far-off dream into concrete reality.”
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