Today was not half bad

So interesting (and frustrating) how my emotions fluctuate wildly day to day even when there seems to be no real reason for it. I wonder if I'm going through a second adolescence, since my first one was relatively calm -- I was neither very rebellious, did not experiment with substances or illegality in any way, and generally did not indulge excessively in angst or have to deal with too many periods of social anxiety. Since leaving home though, life has become more complicated and I wonder how some people in my position can be so settled, so SURE of what they want to do in life or even where they want to be for the next few years. I'm muddling it out, for sure, and I take comfort that the crooked paths are the more interesting -- but it does create some anxiety and restlessness, a push-pull, mental and almost physical tension that is simultaneously drawn to new endeavors and novelty and 'breaking away', whatever that may mean, and also yearns for certainty, stability and assurance that everything and everyone will be ok. If as some claim as in songs that life is a dance, it is a very strange one indeed.