..Eesh.

Eesh.

What I would do to have my halo and robe of light now!

I want to be transformed, to be changed, to leave all this grubbiness around me, inside me...

It's true, you know: people are hardwired to be selfish. I know I have a wonderful family. I know I have good, true friends. I know I have a God-given, blessed opportunity to further my education in the one place I wanted to more than any other.

And yet, when I read about other people's successes and triumphs, a little part of me says (ok, maybe not that little):

"Why isn't that me?"

What la TP. Why when you see starving children you don't say "Why not me?" Why when you see people hungering for God, or maybe even just desperate for shelter, for food, for safety, and other people go to help; you don't say "Why not me?" But instead you just sit and say, "Good thing there are such kind people in the world." The unspoken thought is, "As for me and my family, my friends, my classmates, my dog, my internet connection, let's just all be thankful that we need not live in poverty like them. For God has so blessed us that we have every good thing under the sun and can we even sit comfortably at the mamak stall, drinking teh tarik and criticise like a pro on how the country is falling to pieces."

I am so ashamed of this part of myself. Ok, rather, myself.

-----

By the way, I realised yesterday that Blogpost has no 'password protected entry' function. What is this man, blogger. This is a very important service to all your bloggers. However, maybe this is good also as I learn to be careful in what I say. Either that or I'll try to work my way around it.

-----

I had a really happy -or to use church lingo, blessed - time in church today. Co-song led -church lingo for "you're actually back-up singers but we call you so to make you feel more included":P -(OH another fault of blogger-no smilies!!) for both services, then lunch with youth then had youth cell. Tiring, but enjoyable. I would have stayed longer after cell but had headache so decided to retire. Then went home and slept like the dead for 4 hours (whee! bliss) .

People truly make the difference in whether you want to go back to church or not, whether you want to join a youth group or not. My desire is to be that kind of person who sincerely cares for each and every person I met, lovable or unlovable, talkative or reticent, smiling or grumpy, clean or scruffy, normal or la-la...whatever. And then, to be able to point that person to Jesus, "where my strength comes from".

:)

Have a great day, Gentle Reader. (A phrase I picked up from a historical romance novel. I still have doubts whether people really wrote like that. But it's nice to throw it in once in a while, ain't it?)